Diana Spencer, Then 19, Started Sobbing in the Ladies’ Room As She Asked Princess Grace of Monaco for Advice About Marrying Royalty (2024)

Less than a month after Prince Charles and Diana Spencer announced their engagement in February 1981, Diana met the woman who, up until Diana’s own arrival, was by most estimations the most famous princess in the world—Princess Grace of Monaco, or, as she was known prior to marrying Prince Rainier in 1956, Grace Kelly, the American actress. (Kelly won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in 1954’s The Country Girl, released one year before she met Rainier while overseas for the Cannes Film Festival.)

In 1981, Grace and Rainier were celebrating their 25-year wedding anniversary, neither knowing that Grace had just about a year and a half left to live. When Diana and Grace met on March 7, 1981, at London’s Goldsmiths Hall—attending a fundraising concert and reception for the Royal Opera House—neither knew that both of them would lose their lives in car accidents 15 years apart, both far before their time. (Grace, at her death on September 14, 1982, was 52 years old; Diana, when she died on August 31, 1997, was just 36.)

Charles was the guest of honor at the Goldsmith Hall event, and the appearance was Diana’s first since being announced as the Prince of Wales’ bride-to-be, J. Randy Taraborrelli writes in his book about Grace, Once Upon a Time: Behind the Fairy Tale of Princess Grace and Prince Rainier. “That evening, the swanlike Diana wore a black, very décolleté, strapless evening gown,” Taraborrelli wrote. “Even if she had appeared in a high-necked and long-sleeved muumuu, she would have created a sensation.”

The paparazzi—as would become the norm—went wild for her. But Diana wasn’t used to this treatment yet, if one ever does get used to it. “Diana’s panic was still evident at a reception afterward at Buckingham Palace,” Taraborrelli wrote. “Concerned for her, Grace asked if she would like to accompany her and Gwen [Robyns, Grace’s companion that evening] to the ladies’ room for a chat.” Taraborrelli added, of the moment, “Both Princess Grace of Monaco and Diana, Princess of Wales, were, in so many ways, princesses of our imaginations, icons of beauty and elegance whose storybook lives seemed to open limitless possibilities in the lives of millions of observers around the world.” Similar though they were, they were also quite different: “Whereas Diana was a princess who became a star, Princess Grace was a star who became a princess,” he wrote.

When they met and became engaged to their respective husbands—both after short courtships—“Grace was far more worldly than Diana, even as a young princess,” Taraborrelli wrote. “Diana was a kindergarten teacher. Grace was a star, financially independent, widely traveled, and prone to moving in sophisticated circles.” Diana was 19 when she met Grace in March 1981 and would barely have turned 20 on her July 29, 1981 wedding day to a 32-year-old Charles; Grace was 26 when she married Rainier, who, like Charles, was also 32.

According to Robyns—who was there that night—Diana burst into tears to Grace while she was touching up her makeup in the ladies’ room mirror. The dress she was wearing was so revealing, Diana explained, because it was two sizes too small; her intended outfit had not arrived in time, “an unnerving situation to occur for her first formal appearance,” Taraborrelli wrote. “She also said that she now realized more than ever how unbearable it would be to have so many people jostling for her attention, asking questions, not only of her, but of anyone who knew her. She foresaw a life totally devoid of privacy. She was frightened. What could she do? She was certainly asking the right woman for advice. Grace had always known how to use her celebrity to her advantage, whereas Diana seemed to shrivel under the spotlight’s glare.”

Grace, then 51, put her arms around 19-year-old Diana and patted her on the shoulder. She then put one hand on each of Diana’s cheeks, cupping her face. “Don’t worry, dear,” Grace told Diana with a gentle smile. “You see, it’ll only get worse.”

Diana later told her biographer Andrew Morton that she found Grace to be “wonderful and serene,” but concluded “there was troubled water under her. I saw that.”

Grace attended Charles and Diana’s wedding four months later at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London; Rainier was due to attend with his wife but fell ill and, much to his dismay, had to send his son Prince Albert, then 23, in his place. Grace and Albert stayed as guests of Queen Elizabeth’s at Buckingham Palace, and led a procession of royals from around the world down the Mall, across Trafalgar Square, down the Strand and Fleet Street, and finally climbing Ludgate Hill to St. Paul’s. While Charles and Diana were given opulent gifts from royals and dignitaries from around the globe, Grace and Rainier were more modest in their gift, giving the newlyweds a simple silver picture frame, which Grace thought was “quite lovely” and which Taraborrelli wrote could not have cost more than a few hundred dollars, if that. (For comparison’s sake, President Ronald Reagan and First Lady Nancy Reagan’s gift to the Prince and Princess of Wales was a Steuben glass bowl valued at $75,000.)

Less than a year after her wedding, Diana gave birth to Prince William on June 21, 1982; three months later, on September 18, Grace’s funeral from injuries sustained in a car accident was the first official function that Diana would attend as Princess of Wales. At the event in Monaco, Diana wore a black dress and a black boater hat with a netted veil; she also wore a heart-shaped diamond necklace, a gift from Charles to mark the birth of William three months prior.

“I hope she was happy at the end,” Diana reportedly said of Grace after the service. Less than 15 years later, on September 6, 1997, Diana’s own funeral would be held at Westminster Abbey, she too having lost her life after injuries sustained in a car accident.